Resilience

Lessons From A Rescue Dog

Ever owned a rescue dog? ‘It will be fun,’ they said! Ha! Fun?? It’s such hard work that at times the proverbial towel is about to be thrown in and giving up seems to be the only option. And then the look from those beautiful brown eyes and the gentle cuddle that is being reciprocated, makes the 5am starts, standing in the cold whilst she eats and puppy pads (and she’s three years old) all the way down the passage, into the kitchen and out the door, worthwhile! 

The trauma Ellie, our Old English Sheepdog rescue, has endured at the start of her life on a puppy farm has resulted in the equivalent of PTSD. We received a terrified, scared, desperate dog who dived under the bushes, lay on her bed in the hope we wouldn’t take her out (she couldn’t sit properly at all), hid when there was any noise in the house and would never come near us. No wagging tail. No trust. No love. Nothing.  

Almost a year later… Change!  

She is still timid, shy, and quiet but with patience (loads of it), perseverance (tons of that), love (infinite) and care (every day), we have an Old English who comes to us, cuddles us, gently nudges us and sits with me wherever I am -  My Velcro dog! And best of all, she plays, barks and starts an argument with our other Old English who is often bemused by what she sees. And thank goodness for Smudge, the Diva!

Smudge has taught Ellie how to be a dog - an  Old English Sheepdog. She’s taught her to live far better than we could.Yes we have taught her house etiquette, sitting for her treats, walking on a lead, but it’s been Smudge who has taught her to be a dog and her personality is starting to shine. 

What has made this happen? Resilience and perseverance.  

Are you an Ellie or a Smudge? 

How often do you hide under imaginary bushes, rather stay inside, limit social interaction and feel fearful because of a lack of confidence? How often do you help others by being kind, gentle, empathetic and encouraging to draw others out so that they can be brave , confident and authentic? 

In an ideal world, we should all be Smudges i.e., looking for those around us to support, love and nurture for a month or a lifetime. If we can’t be a Smudge because we are at times an Ellie, are there people that can help, draw alongside, encourage and shower love? Being a Smudge needs resilience and perseverance because when the tough times come, we are able to cope better. Being an Ellie, means having to learn resilience and that’s not easy but can be accomplished.  

Resilience is not something that we are born with; it is learnt from experience and those who teach us. Whether one agrees with the late Winston Churchill’s policies or not, he successfully navigated Great Britain through WW2 and his statement "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts" sums up resilience. When we fall or fail or want to give up, we are encouraged to get up and try again. Success can be lost as quickly as it is gained and it’s what we do when faced with adversity that may determine who we are. Albert Einstein once said that “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity," and I have often wondered where the opportunity is! How good is that feeling when we work through the difficulty and triumph? Arianna Huffington (The Huffington Post), Vera Wang (fashion designer), Walt Disney and Richard Branson (Virgin) all had failed businesses! And yet, they persevered because of their learnt resilience. If they could, so can we. 

As for our dear, sweet Ellie? We still have a way to go. It’s not over until ‘the fat lady sings’ (and I hear no singing yet) but with the help of Smudge and others, she will develop into the Old English Sheepdog that she was destined to be: funny, cheeky, mischievous and living without a care in the world. 

If you feel that you need to build more resilience than please get in touch - margarithe@mayescoachingandtraining.co.uk

With thanks to Ruth of Ruth’s Pet Behaviour Service for advice, guidance and help with Ellie. 

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