‘Have you made a New Year’s resolution?’ is not the cliched question I enjoy hearing; it should really be left behind like the old year.
I’ve often heard New Year's resolutions start with: ‘I'm going to lose weight’, ‘I am going to go to the gym’, ‘I'm going to find a new job’, ‘I'm going to live life better’ or even ‘I'm just going to have a better year!’ It was as if people wanted something new, to be different, to make positive changes, however, it seems as if in the last few years the obligatory New Year's resolution doesn't appear to be as prevalent as before.
Delving into the mists of my memory, I can’t remember making a defined New Year's resolution. I have maybe thought that I would do something different, would have something to look forward to in the upcoming year but a defined resolution, no. I know myself well enough and I'd feel incredibly guilty if I didn’t stick to ‘The Plan’. New Year's resolutions can be confining and limiting because inadvertently they can define us. I question whether they cause us to feel guilty when we don’t ‘stick’ to the resolution and see ourselves as failures.
Swimming clubs, gyms and all measures of healthy societies seem to advertise more just before the old year is out and the new year is in - January is the busiest time for them. All those resolutions kick in; for a month to two, leotards and legwarmers make a comeback and then in month three peace for regular uses reigns again. And the guilt! The guilt is real. That falling off the proverbial bandwagon is a reality. More guilt. We forget the guilt and it’s back to doing life as we know it. Until December.
So here I am a few weeks into 2025, no resolutions and no intentions to do so. I am going to try and enjoy each day and be content.My dear late mother would often say at the end of a year, ‘Oh that was a terrible year. Hopefully next year will be better.’ It has struck me that this was her stock end-of-the-year statement and possibly because every year is filled with The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (apologies Clint Eastwood). It’s not that the entire year was bad but sometimes we choose to only remember the bad instead of enjoying the good memories, the happy events and joyful experiences of the past year. With all that in mind, focusing on a new year becomes easier. When we reevaluate the past we should keep what makes us strong, change what isn’t healthy for us and decide on new challenges.
I am often asked whether I want to kitesurf (my husband is an avid kitesurfer) and my answer is an emphatic, ‘no’. I will watch him and other kitesurfers; marvel at their elegance as they glide elegantly across the waters and send their kites in the air. I can be as elegant as them as all I have to do is swish and sashay into a room. I have made my mark, just differently. I am never going to feel guilty that I don’t want to be a kitesurfer because I am different and unique. Guilt is replaced with contentment and acceptance.
Recently I asked a group of women what 2025 holds for them and how they viewed the new year. I didn't hear ‘My new year’s resolution is,’ or ‘I have started this,’ or ‘I will continue,’ or even ‘I have started as I mean to finish.’ Instead I heard, ‘I am going to live each day to the best I can’/ ‘One day at a time’ / ‘I want to complete my degree’ and ‘I am going to travel at some point.’ None of these statements had defined time frames, rather they were hopes, dreams and expectations for the future. And that’s what I liked.
What about me? What am I going to do?
Set realistic goals; I know what I can achieve
Do more of the things that I enjoy; baking cakes
Starting restoration work on my dolls houses
Sew on that button that came loose in July
Be kinder, more empathetic and help more
Don’t feel guilty. Enjoy the moment. Change your mind. Live life.
Next time: The old adage, ‘Work-Life’ Balance. Does it and can it exist?

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